Best Self-Help Books to Read in 2019

Have you ever wanted to read a self-help book but you get completely overwhelmed by all the options on Amazon? I'm here to lend a hand and help you narrow down your search for the best-fit book to read this year.

You've shared with me the topics that you are struggling with, so I'm here to share the best books I've read in the past year on these topics. I assure you that I only recommend books that I find relatable, easy to read, and practical. While I can't guarantee that these books will change your life, they've been put through my personal transformation test. That is, these books have the potential to inspire new ideas on how to transform your health, emotions, or relationships.

So if you are struggling with any of the following topics, keep reading to hear more about my top picks for self-help books to read in 2019:

  • Insomnia & sleep problems

  • Marriage problems, conflict & distance

  • Negative self-image & self-criticism

best Self-Help Books to Read in 2019 (or any year)

  1. Tired but Wired: How to Overcome Sleep Problems. The Essential Sleep Toolkit by Nerina Ramlakhan

    This book is written by a sleep physiologist. She debunks several myths by sharing the science of sleep in a way that is easy to understand. If you have ever struggled with insomnia for any length of time, you know how much you begin to worry about not getting enough sleep. You start to depend on sleep as the only way to feel rested and energized. And if you wake up, you lay there fretting about how many hours you've slept and how many hours you think you need to sleep.

    She not only shares stories about how she's worked with individuals with different sleep problems, but she also breaks down the sleep toolkit in a way that is easily organized. You can pick which tools you want to try to improve your own sleep. Some of you will be working on letting go of the myths you've had about sleep and insomnia. While others will be choosing new tools and routines on how to prepare for sleep both at bedtime and during the day, because "sleep problems are created well before you get into bed." (Ramlakhan, 2010) 

  2. The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work by Terrence Real

    This book is written by a marriage therapist and founder of Relational Life Therapy. From his work with couples and training other therapists, he shares his breakthrough program for modern marriages. He shares how modern marriages have changed over time, and how we need new rules to make a marriage work in the 21st century. In summary, the author believes women are frustrated and fed up with their emotionally unavailable men, and men become just as frustrated and put up with their wives’ demands.

    Despite his tell-it-like-it-is approach, he does a great job of not taking sides and supporting both men and women who are wanting to work on their part to co-create the marriage they desire. Each chapter ends with practical steps you can either do on your own or with your spouse. Whether you are wanting to better understand your part in the problem or be able to ask for what you desire without nagging or withdrawing, he breaks it down for you. 

    3. Reform Your Inner Mean Girl: 7 Steps to Stop Bullying Yourself and Start Loving Yourself by Amy Ahlers & Christine Arylo

    This book is written by two transformational coaches and the queen of self-love herself. They teach you how to recognize and understand your inner critic before you try to reform it. Part of the process includes taking an inner mean girl quiz, so you can get to know which of the identified 13 types of inner critics are costing you your happiness. Once you understand your inner mean girl (or inner critic) and what motivates her, then you can give her a new job that matches her specific skill set.

    In addition to reforming your inner mean girl, the authors also share how to listen to your inner wisdom to help deactivate the power the inner critic has over your thoughts and actions. I love how playful, creative, and relatable they make this process. Whether you have a gang of inner mean girls living inside you or one ring leader, this book will walk you through getting to know your inner critic, reforming your inner critic, and becoming more self-compassionate and kind to yourself.

    There you have it. My top picks for books to read on the topics of loving yourself, your relationship, and improving your sleep and energy. I would love to hear your thoughts on any of these books after you've read them. And if you have other books on these topics that you recommend, please share below.

What was your favorite self-help book that you read in the past year?


Marci Payne, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor, Missouri

Self-Love Coach

View my services

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