Wisdom for Creating Your Dream Life
After you’ve experienced hurt, disappointment, and loss, it can be really hard to let yourself dream again. This kind of dreaming isn’t the kind that comes to you while you sleep, but the personal dreaming that opens you up to the world of possibility.
It makes sense that there would be a part of you that is protecting you from experiencing the pain of loss and hurt. Because this part of you thinks it’s safer to avoid taking risks, so you don’t have to face potential failure, rejection, or loss again.
I’m actually really grateful that we know how to protect ourselves, but at some point in our healing journey, we no longer need so much protection. We have learned how to tend to the pain we’ve been holding without running from it or judging it. And on the outside, we have learned how to set boundaries with things we aren’t ok with.
When a person feels they have created enough external space and internal grace, they now have the energy to dream again. To be curious about what is possible for them, both in the life they want to create for themselves, for their family, and maybe even the world.
Where are you at in your personal healing journey? Do you feel like you have created some energy and space to start dreaming again? If yes, then let’s explore some wisdom to take with you as you consider opening up to possibilities.
Why Learn What Your Dreams Are For Your Life?
First, for that part of you that is skeptical that having dreams will ever help you, let’s clarify what I mean by dreams. I think of our personal dreams as holding the seeds of our truest desires.
“A dream is the seed of possibility planted in the soul of a human being, which calls him to pursue a unique path to the realization of his purpose.” ~Sharon Hull
Dreams are different from goals. If dreams hold what you desire, then goals hold the steps to help bring your dreams into reality.
At the same time, your dreams hold your heart’s desires, they also welcome some mystery. We don’t always know all the steps that will take us there. Or even if every dream we have will turn into a reality.
So if not all dreams come completely into reality, why dream at all? Because dreaming is pleasurable. And choosing what dreams to focus on is empowering.
Taking steps toward bringing specific personal and/or life dreams into reality is stepping into the leadership role in your life and doing it in a way that focuses on what you most value and enjoy. Said in another way, dreaming is a big permission slip to create a life you enjoy and matters to you!
Are you ready to open up to possibility, pleasure, and value-focused action in your day and life? If the answer is yes, then let me share the wisdom I’ve been collecting along my own journey to allowing myself to dream again.
Wisdom for Starting to Create Life Dreams Again
Leave Space for the Mystery & Unknown: You don’t have to have all the steps figured out. Just know the very next step you are willing and/or excited to take.
Choose What Dreams to Focus On: You can’t water and fertilize all your dreams at once. Choose the ones that you feel you can bring into reality within the next 6-12 months. And choose at least one but no more than 4.
Celebrate All Progress: All too often we don’t pause to celebrate the growth and momentum that has started just by saying I am worthy of dreaming again. Look and acknowledge ways that your dream already has support or momentum in your life.
Know that Doubt Will Show Up: There will be parts of you that will try to protect you from future hurt by telling you that you don’t know what you are doing or you don’t actually deserve what you desire. The less you fight and ignore the doubt, the more you can listen and respond to the doubt with compassion and even gratitude for caring so much about you. The doubt doesn’t have to stop you, but it does need some loving care.
Welcome Support: You don’t have to figure this all out on your own. Finding support that can help you when you feel stuck and witness you when you are stretching helps you continue to be there for yourself as you stretch into new growth.
“Dreams come a size too big so we can grow into them.” ~ Josie Bisset, Actress
I think the world would be a different place if we weren’t trying to prove our worth by reaching our dreams. But instead, we were staying true to ourselves and who we are by creating the life we most desire. This is the world I want to help create. A world in which our dreams don’t prove our worth, but instead we know we are worthy of dreaming.
Journal prompts for following your dreams
What are your life dreams?
Which ones are calling for your attention?
What support do you need as you take the next steps?
Marci Payne, MA, LPC
Online Therapist & Self-Love Coach
Reclaim space and energy to go for your life dreams with my Prioritize Yourself course.