Prioritize Rest in a Culture that Over-Values Doing
I used to have two speeds - push and collapse. I pushed through what my mind and body needed so I could accomplish and do more until I was completely drained and exhausted. Then, all I could do was rest, so I could repeat the cycle all over again.
Like most of the dominant culture, I over-valued doing, giving, and producing. And I saw needing rest as a weakness or a tool to help me eventually create and do more. I greatly under-valued being, resting, and receiving.
Gradually, I started asking and opening up to receive what I need too. Even though I was out of burnout and feeling more support, I kept hearing this nudge from my inner wisdom to rest more. I resisted resting more because I prioritized sleep and practiced restorative and yin yoga. In all honesty, my physical rest was still an attempt to do even more.
Everyone Needs Rest, Just Because
Last October, I went on a 5-day silent retreat, and it was the first time in decades I felt completely nourished on all levels. In preparation for my retreat, I started reading Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey, the founder of The Nap Ministry. (To be inspired by her call to liberate through rest, get your copy of Rest is Resistance: The Manifesto).
Between the wisdom Tricia shared and the retreat environment, I was able to receive nourishment and gradually return home to myself.
Once again, I heard "I need more rest", but this time my inner wisdom had more to say:
Rest, just because.
Rest is a part of feeling alive.
Rest is living too.
As I left the retreat, I so desired to take the wisdom and practices with me as I returned to my daily life. I contemplated how to rest in such a noisy world that is built on the lie that our worth is based on how much we do.
In Tricia's manifesto and in my own body, I am reminded how we have pushed our bodies and other bodies beyond their physical limits for profit and greed. While I can't change the past or our entire culture, I can start with myself, and learn to be, live, and work in this world in a different way that values rest as much as doing.
3 Ways to Value Rest as Much as Doing
Be open to a new perspective on rest - We all need rest, just because. We don't earn rest by working hard. We all need rest, every day.
Learn what kind of rest you need. - Observe where you are rich in energy & where you are depleted. Study different kinds of rest until you find what rest you need.
Give yourself permission to rest in the way you need it. - Surround yourself with authors, teachers, & communities that inspire you to care for yourself too.
How is this landing for you? Do you know what kind of rest you need more of?
7 Types of Rest We All Need
Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, physician and author of Sacred Rest has identified 7 types of rest. (If you want to go deeper, go here to get your copy of Sacred Rest.)
As you read through this list, consider which type of rest you already receive. And which type of rest do you need more of in your daily life?
Physical Rest - sleep, nap, yin yoga, massage
Mental Rest - taking breaks, silence, meditation
Social Rest - mutually supportive relationships, positive community, solitude
Emotional Rest - journaling, therapy, self-compassion
Sensory Rest - digital detox, baths, candlelight
Creative Rest - nature, art, music
Spiritual Rest - personal retreat, prayer, daily practice
For me, I always thought rest was solely physical, like taking a nap or getting more sleep. But rest is so much more. I learned I get enough physical rest, but I need more mental and sensory rest. I get over-stimulated with sensory input that isn't nourishing me. And I use my mind a lot in my work, so it gets tired first.
Now that I know I get the most depleted mentally when I don't give my mind a break, I use sensory rest to help my mind rest. For instance, I drive or walk in silence with no music or podcast playing. I also take digital detoxes from social media, so I have less sensory input to process. Instead, I spend more time lingering over sensory input that nourishes me, such as taking a salt bath or gazing at nature.
What about you? What type of rest do you need more of?
Marci Payne, MA, LPC
Holistic Therapist & Self-Love Coach
If you want to stop putting yourself last, you can learn more about my Prioritize Yourself course here.