IFS Toolbox for Checking in With Your Parts Between Sessions: Kansas City IFS Therapist Tips
If you’ve been working with an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, they may have encouraged you to check in with your parts between sessions. Sometimes this goes great, and you learn more about your inner world, and your parts start to trust you more. Other times, you might feel hijacked by a protector, or the last thing you want to do is sit quietly and be with what is active inside.
First off, make sure you feel truly ready to check in with your parts on your own. If you are, your therapist can help you design a check-in tailored to you. But if you are reading this and there are days or weeks before your next session, I want to share my IFS toolbox with you - from the perspective of both an IFS therapist and an IFS client.
Create the Container for Your Check-in
For me, having a defined “container” really helps me check in with my parts. A container can be anything: a dedicated journal, a cozy spot on your yoga mat, a sketchpad, or even a meditation app. The container helps hold the space, signaling to your system that this time is sacred, intentional, and separate from the rest of your day.
How long you spend on a daily check-in usually depends on how activated your system is. If several parts are asking for attention, it might take a bit longer than if you are simply saying hello and scanning your body. Anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes is a great window, depending on what you need.
As you explore the tools below, consider how you learn best and how your parts naturally like to communicate. Do you have parts that love quiet meditation? Parts that express themselves through art or words? Or strong thinking, analytical, or skeptical parts that prefer to gather information first?
No matter how your parts prefer to connect, I hope you find something in this toolbox for each of them.
IFS Books, Podcasts, and Videos for Your Thinking and Learning Parts
IFS therapy is deeply experiential, but it is completely valid if you have parts that want to understand why and how things work before diving in. While these lists aren't exhaustive, they are my personally curated favorites. May your learner, skeptic, and thinking parts enjoy exploring them:
IFS Therapy Books (If you prefer audiobooks, “No Bad Parts” by Dr. Richard Schwartz and “Listening When Parts Speak” by Tamla Floyd are wonderful choices, as both include guided meditations.)
IFS Podcasts on Spotify (I’ve been curating this list of podcast episodes for several years. It’s a collection of wonderful topics, from inner critics, longing, and grief to parts around sleep and neuro-differences.)
IFS Videos on YouTube (Learn directly from the founder of IFS, Dr. Richard Schwartz and other IFS-trained therapists, as they elaborate on topics, such as Self-energy, polarizations, and IFS.)
IFS Meditations for Your Mindful and Stillness-Seeking Parts
In IFS, the goal of meditation isn't to transcend or rise above your parts - it’s to be present and connect with them. If you have parts that long to sit in stillness but prefer a guided voice, I have curated two playlists on the Insight Timer app:
IFS Meditations for Daily Parts Check-in: Guided tracks (ranging from 7 to 17 minutes) for when you want to pause and check in with a part.
IFS Meditations for Deeper Exploration: Guided practices designed to help you get to know specific protector parts, access Self-energy, or connect with younger, wounded parts.
*(Note: The Insight Timer app is *completely free to use, with an optional premium upgrade. I used the free version for years before upgrading!)
IFS Exercises for Creative and Artsy Parts
Art Portraits: Gather your favorite art supplies: paints, markers, digital tools, or magazine cutouts. Pick a specific part you’d like to explore (like an inner critic or a perfectionist) and draw, paint, or collage an image that reflects its energy. Ask the part about its preferred name and job title. Then reflect on how you feel toward this part and what you appreciate about its role.
Parts Mapping: Create a visual map of the parts that are currently active, noting how close or distant they feel from one another. You can draw images, use shapes, write words, or use a dedicated card deck. (My personal favorite is Inner Active Cards.)
*(Tip: *If you purchase the Inner Active Cards, download the free guide on how to use them directly from their website.)
IFS Exercises for Storyteller and Writer Parts
As a writer with a highly active mind, externalizing my parts onto the page helps me gain clarity and see who is showing up. If you enjoy writing, journaling, or storytelling, try one of these:
Dialogue Journaling: Have a written conversation with a part you’d like to get to know. Start with a compassionate question like, "What do you want me to understand about you right now?" Then, switch pen colors and let the part write back without filtering or editing. Continue back and forth until the dialogue feels complete.
Creative Storytelling: Write or voice-record a short story about a protective part that you want to understand better. Imagine it telling its own origin story: How did it get this job? How has it been trying to protect you? What does it desire for you? Reflect on how you feel toward this part after capturing its journey.
Write Poetry: Write a poem to a part you want to offer appreciation, acceptance, or love to, especially a part that has felt hard to love in the past.
You don’t have to consider yourself a poet to try this. Here is a poem called I See You that I wrote to several of my own parts, particularly the one that always felt like she had to "be strong."
Intentionally Checking In (Not Controlling) Your Parts
Connecting with our parts is about cultivating a trusting and collaborative relationship. We already have internal relationships active inside us, but this checking in builds our awareness and connection with them.
The goal of connecting on your own is to lean in and be with your parts, rather than trying to manage, fix, or regulate them. If you have striving parts that love achieving goals, let them know they don’t have to “work hard” between sessions. In fact, they can take a break and let you curiously get to know your inner world.
I’d love to hear which of these exercises resonates most with you, or which one you are curious to try next. Feel free to bookmark this page or explore my resource library, as I’ll be sharing a review of IFS apps for tech-loving parts soon!
Begin IFS Therapy and Counseling in the Kansas City area
Hello, I’m Marci Payne, a Licensed Professional Counselor
If you are looking for an IFS therapist in the Kansas City area or for online counseling in Missouri or Kansas, I would be honored to connect and see if we are a good fit for this chapter of your healing journey.
I intentionally blend relationship counseling, somatic awareness, and IFS parts work to create a personalized experience. Most importantly, I don’t try to fix your symptoms from the outside. Instead, I help you make sense of what is happening inside, so you can have different choices on the outside.
If you are ready for a collaborative healing space to process heavy emotions, navigate challenging relationship dynamics, or heal from the past, then schedule a free initial phone call with me here.