Working with Lee’s Summit Therapist: Client Guide to Co-Creating Meaningful Change
Writing in Journal
Congratulations on finding a Lee’s Summit therapist with whom you connect! This is often the hardest step, especially if you’re new to therapy or the area. (If you are still searching, see my guide to finding the best therapist for you.)
Now that you’ve found a therapist that you feel like is a great fit, you may be wondering how to make the most of your time and investment. And more importantly, there may be a part of you that really wants to create meaningful change in yourself, your life, or your relationships.
Starting with this desire for change and healing is a great place to start your therapy journey. Know you aren’t in this alone. Depending on how your therapist works, you are in a collaborative relationship where you each bring something to the therapy process to co-create change and healing.
I’ve also been in your shoes, starting with a new therapist, and know how eager I was to shift some patterns and heal some things I had been holding onto. From both the therapist's and client's perspectives, I’ll share ideas you can use before and during sessions to help you get the most out of therapy. And be on your way to co-creating meaningful change in a way that works for you.
Therapy is a Co-Creative Process
You may not have considered therapy to be a co-creative process. Traditionally, therapists were placed in a hierarchical role, doling out advice to the client. But newer approaches to therapy view the client-therapist relationship as collaborative, where each takes an active participation in the process.
In my work with clients, the counseling session can be as fluid or structured as needed, allowing us to shift the focus as necessary. I have a therapeutic process in mind, but I personalize it for each client and session.
When you come to the session, having a clear idea of what you want to explore in each session can help you focus and ask for what you need. However, if you have multiple concerns, your therapist can help you prioritize which to focus on first. And if you are feeling great and don’t have a problem to focus on, discussing progress is a valuable use of your therapy session too!
Before the Session: Prepare for Therapy in Lee's Summit
Depending on your learning style, you may want to take notes during your therapy session. Choose a journal that you can use before and during sessions, so all your notes will be in one place. Here are a few tips to help you prepare for your next therapy session:
Let Your Journal Hold Your Therapy Focus: If you have a lot going on in your life or feel like your mind is full, try writing down what comes up between therapy sessions. You can note the triggering event that you had a hard time working through. Or, you can write or draw a longer journal entry about the feelings, thoughts, and/or behaviors the situation triggered for you.
Create Space for Self-Reflection: Reflect before your session, whether starting 24 hours or 15 minutes ahead. To choose a focus for your next session, either review your journal or check in with yourself to notice what needs the most attention. (Or if you are unsure what to focus on, ask your therapist to guide you.)
Block Out Time Around Therapy Session: Try to avoid rushing between meetings and therapy. If possible, create a 15-minute buffer before and after your session to reflect and integrate the experience.
If you are a journaler, use specific journal prompts before your session to help prepare and find a focus. Here are journal prompts you can use before your therapy sessions:
What’s going well?
What's not going well?
What do I want to grow?
What would I like to explore or focus on during the session?
At the same time, you don’t have to journal to benefit from therapy. If journaling isn’t for you, let these ideas inspire you to find what works for you.
During the Session: Making Most of Your Time with Therapist
Once you’re in session, how do you make the most of your time and investment? Here are a few tips to use during therapy sessions:
Turn Phone Notifications Off: Turn your phone to silent or do not disturb to reduce interruptions. If you’re tempted to watch the clock, let your therapist handle timekeeping; their role is to hold the space for therapy.
Be as Honest as You Can: Trusting your therapist takes time, and different parts of you may need reassurance. As you feel ready, share more of what you’re struggling with or looking forward to.
Share How Therapy is For You: You can even be honest about this. Let your therapist know if you are struggling with the therapy process. Give them feedback if something they say or do doesn’t land well. This is good practice for speaking up and asking for what you need between sessions.
Be Open to New Approaches: If you’ve done therapy before and feel like you’ve tried many things. Or you feel stuck and like your progress has stalled, be open to trying new things. A skilled therapist will continue to attend to their professional and personal growth, so they will have fresh ideas and tools to try as well.
Tend to Impatience About Change: You may have parts that feel a sense of urgency and want to speed up the healing and growth process. Let your therapist know if you are feeling impatient so that you can work with these parts as well. Change isn’t linear. Some sessions will feel like a breakthrough. Other sessions will feel like you are in the same place or going backward. As long as you feel progress overall, keep going.
Bring All Parts of Yourself to the Therapy Session
I welcome all parts of you to each session. If you are working with an IFS-inspired therapist like me, emotions and symptoms are not seen as resistance. Through Internal Family Systems, your parts might have different concerns about therapy. We can make space for these parts and address them together. (You can learn more about using IFS to connect with yourself here.)
Among the parts that may come up in the therapeutic relationship are:
The parts of you that brought you to therapy
The parts of you that are nervous about being hurt or let down again
The parts of you that worry about being evaluated or judged
The parts of you wanting to do therapy “just right”
Making space to address the concerns that different parts of you have throughout the counseling process helps build trust with yourself and your therapist.
As you consider these ideas and approaches, take what resonates with you to enhance your experience and maximize the benefits of your counseling journey moving forward. Overall, my desire is for you to know you can’t do therapy wrong. Show up as yourself and speak for the different parts of you that have concerns, fears, and dreams. In doing so, you will be helping to co-create meaningful change that aligns with what you most want to receive from counseling.
Author: Marci Payne, MA, LPC, LCPC
She is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Missouri and Kansas, with a private practice located in Lee’s Summit, MO. Her expertise includes individual therapy for people-pleasers, empaths, and adults recovering from emotionally abusive relationships. Marci provides both online and in-person sessions and is recognized as a non-traditional, holistic, and inclusive therapist. (Schedule a free initial phone call with her here.)